Not everything is vagrancy, malpractice or manipulation! 24-07-2020
Por: César A. Fernández
It is common to hear in a first consultation with parents explain the behaviors of their children with phrases such as:
- “He's just too lazy to do things”
- "Those are acts of spoiledness"
- “They do it to manipulate”
- "If you put mind to it, you could achieve it"
- “Those are sleazy behaviors of his part”
Faced with ignorance of many mental health conditions, parents sometimes tend to attribute their children's behaviors to “vagrancy,” “manipulation,” “exaggerations,” and “spoiledness.” But behind some of these behaviors there are emotional difficulties or mental health disorders, which cause and/or exacerbate such behaviors.
If your child has a hard time getting motivated to do things, has a constant bad mood or apathy, is more irritable and responsive than usual, isolates himself from the family and resists sharing with other household members, and no longer wants to go to his afternoon classes; he may be presenting with a Depressive Mood Disorder. This is not “laziness” or “spoiledness.”
If your child shows great difficulty in sitting down to do their homework, if they have to explain things over and over again, if they "misbehave" at school, if they talk constantly despite the fact that teachers always call their attention, if they are not still and it seems to never pay attention to what you say; they could be presenting a picture of Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity. This is not “foolishness” or “not doing enough.”
If your daughter does not want to be home alone, she cares a lot about things, gets very nervous about exams, "gives a lot of mind" to problems with her friends, and always has a bellyache when it comes to going to school; she may be experiencing some Anxiety Disorder. This is not a “whim” or “exaggeration.”
If your daughter shows herself in a changing mood, is impulsive, experiences intense emotions and in your opinion exaggerated, often wants to miss school because she does not feel in the mood, says that she wants to die or that she feels empty, self-harm, and has conflicting relationships; she could be experiencing a Limit Personality Disorder. This is not “manipulation” or that “is in need of a good spanking.”
We invite you to reflect on the behaviors of your children, observe if there have been any changes in recent months, or if you notice any symptoms that catch your attention. Don't wait to seek the opinion of a mental health professional about the emotions and behaviors you care about your children. Dealing with these issues on time is the most reliable predictor of early improvement!
